"In oneself lies the whole world and if you know how to look and learn the door is there and the key is in your hand. Nobody on earth can give you either the key or the door to open, except yourself." - Jiddu Krishnamurti
Ahhhh, my first apartment. I was a young woman with hopes and dreams of what my future held... Ok who am I kidding, I was a young girl that had FREEDOM and endless nights of partying on her mind. Hehehe
I learned a lot of lessons in the short time before the eviction notice came (how else did you think this ended?) I made a lot of mistakes but I don't have any regrets. I think my Dad learned a valuable lesson too, don't co-sign a lease for an 18 year old. (snickers)
I wanted freedom but is that what I really had? I didn't have my father around anymore telling me what I could and couldn't do. I didn't have a curfew anymore but some how I didn't feel free....
My part time job turned into a full time job so I could afford the rent. I had the property manager always complaining and telling me what I could and could not do. My friends partied while I worked. I came home every night to a trashed apartment with all the food I just bought consumed by my partying friends!!! Ugh, and now I can see the big smile spreading across my dad's face as he reads this. Was I free? No, or if this was freedom I didn't want it.
Still as adults we all crave freedom. It's our hearts desire, yet we sign mortgages, enter into contracts, fill our calendars with other people's agenda. So I ask: Is it freedom we all really want or is it security? Is it possible to have both?
In order to answer those questions you first need to ask yourself what does security and freedom mean to me? For myself freedom no longer means staying up all night and partying without a curfew (thank God). Freedom means having the time to get lost in my own mind and working on my own projects without having to adhere to anyone else's schedule. I am sure each of you have an entirely different definition of freedom. Many of my biker friends describe freedom as the feeling they get when they are riding. This is something I can't relate to but that's ok, we all will have different definitions of freedom.
Security? What does that mean? For me security is not related to a financial state. I only need enough money to pay bills, buy food and of course a few dozen pair of sparkly pink shoes. I have no desire to own anything (gasp). Security to me is, emotional security and the feeling of safety. It's the feeling I have when I am at my mom or dad's house. It's the feeling that no matter what everything is going to be ok because I am surrounded by people that love me.
Wow, I came full circle. When kids tell me they can't wait to grow up, I just look at them and laugh....
I challenge you to come up with your own definition of freedom and security. Are you achieving this? If not, what changes can you make?
No comments:
Post a Comment