The process of name-calling is typically based upon feeling not OK, and name-callers are trying to make themselves feel more powerful by using the process. If I call you a name and get you upset, then I temporarily feel more powerful because I had a powerful effect upon you. My self-esteem rises at your expense. - Sticks and Stones
I once was very insecure and used name calling as a way to make others feel bad. It took me many years to find a different way to express my discontent with someone other then to call the person a name. I think what prompted me to change was how it felt when someone called me a name.
I was in an abusive relationship for years and was called names daily. At first it hurt, then I saw it for exactly what it was....the other person's insecurity and feeling powerless. After realizing the name caller is actually the powerless one, I stopped using this as a form of communication. I also stopped letting name calling effect me. Now when a person calls me a name, I feel pity for them. It is obvious that the person is hurting inside and has numerous issues that have nothing to do with me. It's a very sad state of mind for a person to be in but I also realize that it is not my problem to solve.
Low self esteem not only affects the way a person treats others but it also affects the way they treat themselves. Some common tendacies of people with low self esteem are, drug addictions, alcoholism, procrastination, financial irresponsibilty. So again, their issues are not mine to solve.
To anyone who chooses to name call and make up lies about myself or others, may your soul find peace in doing so. To anyone who is the victim of verbal abuse let me offer you the same advise I give to my kids....
If someone calls you a chair, does that make you a chair? Shrug it off, that person obviously has issues that go way beyond their disagreement with you.
I challenge everyone to try to go a week without calling anyone a name and this means anyone. Even the crazy driver that cuts you off, the co-worker that steals your ideas and dumps work on you, the nosey neighbor.....
Send love out into the universe instead of hate....
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