My oldest son just turned 18!! This is so hard for me to believe but it happened, he is officially an adult. I thought I would feel differently than I do. I made numerous jokes along the years and I have jokingly counted down the years until he reached this milestone. Instead of feeling happy or a sense of relief that he is now and adult, I feel kind of sad. I wish I could turn back the hands of time to when he was just a little baby in my arms or a toddler smiling, laughing and running around the play ground.
Since the time my son was a baby, I've bought him all the latest toys, electronics or whatever it took to keep him busy. As a baby he had the noisy light up toys. When he was a toddler I would play the same Barney DVD over and over again. Once he got older we moved on to video games, computers, smart phones. We even had a mini van with the DVD player inside.
My motto was, if it kept him quiet I would buy it. Now that he has reached adulthood I have regrets about doing this. It is what makes me want to turn back the clock. I don't have memories of watching Barney or playing video games with him. That wasn't quality time spent together; it was simply busy time so I could clean the house or watch a tv show in peace.
The memories that I treasure the most are not the ones of seeing his eyes light up every time he got a new video game but rather the time we spent together just talking. I have always been a porch sitter and an early riser. My best memories are the times that he would come and find me because he wanted to talk or get his mother's advice.
My favorite memory with Jacob was the morning of a St. Patricks Day parade. Both he and I woke up around 6:00 in the morning and the rest of the household was still asleep. I asked him if he wanted to go on a beach walk with me. (Now this was only another distraction because a bi-polar/autistic child can be quite noisy) We were walking down the beach and we came to a spot where there were tons and tons of starfish washed ashore. He became very excited and wanted to keep all of them. I explained to him that the starfish were in fact still alive and we could rescue them by gently picking them up and placing them back in the ocean. We spent the next two hours rescuing the starfish. We worked together as a team, we laughed and we talked about important things in life. Looking back now, I wish I had more days like that with him.
Although he is no longer a child, I will not let this lesson escape me. When I see him now I will make an effort to have quality time. I don't want to sit around and watch tv or just have dinner. I want to have experiences with him where we are connected and talking and working together on something.
This lesson not only applies to children but to all the people in our lives. So we should all ask ourselves: What kind of quality time do you spend with your family? Your spouse? Your friends? What can you do to add more quality time with your loved ones?
A simple picnic in the park or a nature walk will do. If we make a conscience effort to put down the electronic devises and make connections with the people in front of us,I think we will all have less regrets and more fantastic memories.
No comments:
Post a Comment