For the last year, I allowed myself to be surrounded by negative, drama laden people. They had no goals in life, they were lazy, they sought happiness through external sources such as material goods, alcohol, gambling, and other people's misery. When I first let these people enter my life, I knew their negative energy could effect me. I told myself that I would not allow them to get close. I would keep my own identity... I was only fooling myself.
Slowly they crept into my subconscious and I started neglecting my own wants and needs. I stopped doing things that brought pleasure to me. I stopped pursuing my passions. Everyday there was a new drama or crisis. Everyday there was a new party to attend. Life was filled with miscommunication, confusion and superficial things. Someone was always mad at someone else. You had to be careful of what you said to whom. Life was filled with secrets and deception.
After sometime had passed, this did effect me on an emotional and physical level. I no longer had the passion or desire to do the things I once enjoyed. When I tried to return to activities that once brought me happiness, I was not satisfied. There was endless chatter in my mind. I could no longer focus or be as creative as I once was. My thoughts changed from positive to negative. I no longer could fall asleep peacefully every night. I tossed and turned throughout the night and it took some type of sleep aid for me to even fall asleep. I did not like the person I had become. I was now negative, cyclical, cliquish, secretive and completely out of touch with my inner being.
It took a physical ailment that placed me on bed rest for quite some time to bring me back to my senses again. While I laid in bed and let my body recover, I though about each person in my life. I thought about our conversations, what was important to them, how it aligned to what was important to me. I discovered that most people in my inner circle were negative. Their thoughts, their actions, their words were all immersed in negativity. In general they did not like themselves. They were always looking for something external to complete them or make them happy.
I then took sometime to rediscover myself. I thought about what made me happy in the past. What truly brought me inner peace. I remembered how I used to take walks in nature. Sometimes through the woods, sometimes along the beach. I used to become one with nature. When I would walk and think, time did not exist. I would see the smallest miracles and stop and observe them. I could see the true beauty of the world. As of lately when I walked down the beach or watched sunset I was just going through the motions. I was no longer connected. I also remembered that I would read something inspirational everyday and I would write everyday. I spent time meditating, I took care of my body, I exercised and I ate healthy food. All of this had changed for me.
After I realized what had happened, my thoughts became more positive. Their negativity stood out more and more to me. I no longer sought pleasure in their company. As I changed back to my true self, the friendships with negative people quickly faded. I thought I would feel a loss as this happened but I didn't. I felt complete peace. Sure they tried to hurt me with negative words, they spread lies and rumors about me but in the end, who is really listening to them? Just more people that are like them. People I don't chose to have in my inner circle. In the big grand scheme of things that small circle doesn't really matter. A year from now this won't matter. I though it would be hard to let go, but it was very easy.
Now it is time to ask yourself: Who is your top 5? Do they reflect who you are as a person? Do they bring you peace and happiness? Are they positive people that always offer you encouragement?
If not, change is easier then you think. Start letting your inner light shine and soon they will fall by the wayside and leave room for the right people to enter your life. If you do have positive people that reflect your best self then nurture those relationships and keep them in your top 5.
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