You do not have to participate to every argument you are invited to....

 This is something I repeat to my friends and family all the time.  Whenever someone is arguing or trying to argue with you it is all based on emotions and their desire to be right or demean you in some way.  It's all about their insecurities not your shortcomings.  

Everyone encounters this from time to time and most people can ignore and avoid it. The people who really seem to get to others are the bullies,you know the ones with the abusiveness personalities.  

So how does anyone avoid this when they are pushing our buttons?  Let me share a personal story... 

-I left a guy who was abusive.  The only communication he received from me is one informing him I would return to collect my belongings within 30 days and I would give him sufficient notice before doing so.   At this he said he was packing my belongings and taking it all to goodwill.  A few days later I contacted him to inform him I had hired a moving company and I needed to arrange times and dates.  Instead of answering the questions he in turn tried to argue about other things.  I instead informed him of the date and time the movers would arrive, ended the conversation and said goodbye forever.   Later that evening he called the police to tell them he removed my belongings from the home.  The end result, the police made a report, made him move my stuff back inside and informed him if he denied the movers access when then arrived that is a crime and he would be charged - 

Typically a person would react to these threats by being outraged, shocked, crying and pleading for the person to not do anything with their valuables.  I did not react that way instead I saw it for exactly what it was.  When I would not engage him in an argument I took away his power,  when I would not go to the home myself and get my belongings I took away his power.  He was no longer in control and this evoked fear in him.  Instead of accepting this he reacted the same way a toddler does when they are placed in timeout.  He threw a temper tantrum.  

When I really looked at things from an outside perspective it became so clear.  I was probably scratching at some insecurity within and he was probably repeating past behaviors. It probably wasn't about me at all but instead the ghosts in his own closet.  

I know it is hard to walk away and ignore someone who is really trying to provoke you but trust me, the silent one is the powerful one.  You do not need to defend what need not be defended. 

When you walk away from someone who is trying to engage you in an argument you take away their power.  Always remember this and it will lead to a more peaceful life.